Girls Gotta Have Fun!

I'm feeling rather Pink these days...found a fun wig at the mall and decided to let loose on Christmas Eve. My mom has most of the pics but you get the point...Girls just Gotta Have Fun!

Chrismakha and other musings...

Hanukkah started last night and the candles are burning...Christmas is just around the corner and the tree is decorated and looking very festive. I love this time of year and I have made a concerted effort to slow down and enjoy time with friends and family and leave the rush and bustle to others. But I must admit I've had fun shopping and wandering through the decorated stores.

Went to the Ducks basketball game tonight...it was an odd and rather clumsy effort but they managed to pull out a win. The seem pretty tired...I think they're ready for Christmas break too :)

A quick update on my treatment...my surgery is scheduled for Wednesday January 11. I'm eager to move forward with this process and clear yet another hurdle. I meet with my plastic surgeon on Friday afternoon so I should have a pretty clear idea of what to expect. Although I suppose there is no way to really know until after it's all said and done.

Time to let Rosie out one last time and head to bed...good night and sweet dreams.

The Big C

I've got some new blood flowing through my veins and I'm beginning to feel better. But I must admit that now that chemo is done I'm beginning to feel a little anxious. I was so focused on getting through each infusion that I never really took in the big picture...the Big C. And now that's all I can think of. There is a support group for younger breast cancer patients that I plan to check out and hope that it may be helpful.

In November I was interviewed by Lindsay, a lovely young woman who works for CAWOOD Advertising and writes about the personal stories of cancer patients for the Willamette Valley Cancer Institute's Believe Blog. The link to my story is below if you're interested. Oddly enough I met her at Daisy Ducks as she was attending a meeting with her grandmother and spoke to us about her involvement in the Susan G. Komen Race that was held in Oct.

Just goes to show that every day the people we meet and the experiences we have can have an impact in ways we can't appreciate.

And I'm trying to appreciate them all.

Good night...


http://believeinstitute.com/blog/entry/fans-cheer-for-breast-cancer-survivor-as-she-wins-each-day/

Got Blood?

Went in for a blood test today and looks like another blood transfusion is in my immediate future. I'll be going in tomorrow morning and hoping this gives me the energy boost I'm lacking.

But I guess one nice thing about feeling wiped out is that I know I didn't get a placebo!

Time for bed...sweet dreams.

Happy Happy!

Bruce is doing great post surgery...while he's sore and moving a bit slower he says this is a cakewalk compared to getting your chest cracked.

I think today we'll both feel well enough for a spin around the block with Rosie.

And I'm feeling much better...my energy level is creeping up and I'm feeling stronger every day.

And finally I'd like to wish my lovely niece Kelsey a very Happy 8th Birthday!! Wish I could be there to watch her blow out the candles...have a big slice of cake for me!!

One Grateful Girl...

I had my last chemo on Tuesday, November 22nd and we had quite the celebration. Bruce, my Mom and Heidi joined me (Liz and Amy were sick so they were there in spirit!) and we had cake, sparkling cider and laughed with the nurses. At this point they're part of the family!

I must say it feels like they decided to save the big guns for the finale. The fatigue, the nausea, the headaches...the couch and I have become fast friends! And a few of those nasty side effects I thought I'd managed to avoid have made an appearance. The worse being the mouth sores...but it's all temporary and in a week or so I'll feel like myself again.

And seeing how we just celebrated Thanksgiving I am feeling very grateful these days. We had such a lovely dinner with my parents, Taylor, Jason, Jenn and Hunter. We played games, watched movies and talked about things that matter. Then it was time for the big game and the Ducks didn't disappoint. We sent the kids and watched from home as my seat on the couch was the best in the house! And all the while I thought of our family and friends...those who could join us, those who were absent and those we miss everyday and I am so thankful for them all. At the end of the day it's the relationships with those I love that make me smile and remind me how fortunate I am.
And I get to switch places with Bruce today...he's having a ventricle hernia repaired (a result of his heart surgery in January) and I am awaiting news from the doctor. I know everything will be fine but I have so say I hate the waiting. But I do prefer to be the caretaker rather than the patient!

I'll update later and let you know how he is...

I'll Be There...

It's been a busy week...staying healthy with Physical Therapy and Acupuncture and having fun seeing friends and enjoying a night on the town. Bruce and I went to Cirque de Soleil's Michael Jackson show at Matt Knight Arena on Tuesday night. It was quite a spectacle and the dancers and acrobats were amazing. They did it all...the quintessential moonwalk, the infamous sparkly socks and the single glove, and the songs we all know by heart. And they included a medley of old Jackson 5 hits and I was taken back to my adolescence...watching American Bandstand, listening to my favorite records over and over and some very fond memories of me and my friends standing on our Tillicum Village fireplace (the stage) putting on shows belting out these songs. From Rockin' Robin and ABC, to Ben and I'll Be There, we knew them all!

I'll be visiting my surgeon tomorrow to have the seroma under my arm drained and hopefully discuss plans for my upcoming surgery. Still hoping for mid-December but if it has to be January that would be fine.

Looking forward to the big game on Saturday...Bruce says there are lots of big time recruits in town. Hopefully they were told to dress warmly. It's going to be a cold one!!

This is for my dear friends and family who have been with me every step of the way...thank you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6bARIaMhCM&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=AVGxdCwVVULXfxLwE-OMg7kN5NlXkA7BoB

Make mine a Bloody Mary....

Spent the day at the hospital yesterday getting a blood transfusion. My red cells have taken a hit after over the course of my treatment and I needed to top off my tank. It's amazing how exhausting a little anemia can be!
My mom, bless her heart, drove down the night before so she could be with me. It was so nice having her with me. We talked and laughed and played Words with Friends. Made the nearly 8 hour day seem to fly by.

This happens to be the Civil War Blood Drive, where Duck and Beaver fans donate blood in honor of their school. Oregon State has claimed the prize over the last number of years but the real winners are Oregonians (like myself :-) ) who benefit from the gift of donation. So if you're a Duck or Beaver fan and interested in donating blood, this is a great time to do it!

http://www.laneblood.org/uncategorized/civil-war-blood-drive/

My doc said I may need another before my surgery next month and I'm thinking that a Team Edward t-shirt would be fun in light of all the Twilight hoopla!

Looking forward to watching the game this weekend...should be a gas!

Get Ready to Ride

As my chemo treatments come to a close, I am beginning to feel the same familiar nervous swirl in the pit of my stomach I felt when I was diagnosed. There is an odd sense of safety and comfort that comes from having this viscous nectar pumped through my veins. The chemo is in search of cancer cells...the chemo kills the cancer cells. So what happens when I'm done? Will the surgery and radiation be adequate to finish off the job? I'm betting my life that this will have the one-two-three punch of a classic Tarantino film. I say a line or two of witty dialogue that gives way to a kick-ass, slightly ironic song. Then I fight like hell and, surrounded by my slain enemy, my cancer, I walk off the set, victorious. I'm a warrior.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfuHgzu1Cjg

Truckin' along...

The Ducks won, Halloween night has come and gone (but not our candy!) and my 5th chemo infusion is a done deal. Here are a few pictures from the last few days...we're truckin' along!

Stephanie (my daughter-in-law) and I at the game. What a great afternoon!

Ashley and I...talkin' Ducks and wedding plans!

My Dad rolled his eyes as I encouraged Cas to sit with me on the couch. Do you think Rosie was jealous?

Speaking of Rosie...here's my girl ready for Halloween treats. She's dressed up a Pink Warrior with the scarf I got her at the Komen walk.

Liz, Heidi and Amy (not pictured) kept me company during chemo today. And Bruce stopped by during lunch. When I walk in to the room I feel like the soundtrack from Cheer's should be playing...I'm bellying up to the bar, getting my "liquid nutrition" where everyone is a friend :)

Good Night and Sweet Dreams

Boo!

It's a beautiful morning...cold, crisp and clear. The perfect Halloween day. This was one of my favorite days as a teacher. One year we finished a unit on Edgar Allen Poe and then I had the kids write their own ghost stories and read them out loud in a circle, lights out, with a flashlight. They started out rolling their eyes but by the end they really got into it. Good memories!

I've got my pumpkin to carve and candy to buy...and what will Rosie be this year? Pictures to follow!

Pink on Parade

The Fightin' Girls (and Boys) gathered Sunday for the Susan G. Komen Walk for the Cure and what fun we had! Our team, Girls Gotta Fight gathered before the race and at last count we had 45 participants! It was overwhelming to see so many of my friends and family gathered to walk for this important cause. And I know that many of my "Fighters" were walking not just for me but to honor loved ones and friends they hold dear. And for that wider circle of survivors, fighters and those who sadly lost their battle, I bow my head in honor of them all.


As the walk got started it was so amazing to see the various teams and individuals -- remember this is Eugene so it's no surprise that every kind of crazy was represented. One of my favorites was a pair of small poodles, one dyed pink and the other green and yellow (as the event was taking place at the home of the Ducks!). And along the 5k path that wound about, in part along
Pre's trail, entertainment and cheers of encouragement were everywhere. It was magical.






As of today, Girls Gotta Fight is 8th out of 191 teams with $3,518.00 raised thus far. And with donations still trickling in that number can go up. A big thank you to all who walked, donated and sent their good thoughts. Much of the money raised stays in the community to help needy, uninsured women with mammograms and cancer treatments in addition to lifesaving research. And the walk would not have been nearly so fun without you!!

A Life in Stitches...

I turned 48 on Tuesday Oct. 18. I gave myself a brief wtf moment in the mirror (who is that bald woman staring back at me?) then put on a great pair of boots and went to lunch. Heidi, Liz, my mom and I started off the day with lunch as a prequel to a fabulous evening with my book group.

And just when I thought that cancer was the biggest curve ball I could get my friends surprised me with a stunning quilt they made. You can see the pictures of the process in Debby's post below...what an amazing project!

And what's more amazing is that as I look at the quilt it seems to resemble so much about my life and about my recent experiences. Unlike most traditional quilts that are ordered with perfect symmetry, this has a delicious randomness...I've rarely followed the straight line to happiness or achievement. Rather I"m a "road not taken" kind of gal and that always has served me well in the end. And the pops of color elicit the beauty of the many places I've had the good fortune to live in and visit in my life. The deep blue waters of Palau, the purple blue mountains of Bend, the deep green of the Willamette Valley, the yellow ocher of Provence. I could go on. But most of all, when I look at this marvelous quilt I will be reminded of my many friends, who really are extended family. You've stitched together the bits and pieces of my life with love and I thank you.

Making Tracy's Birthday Quilt

Tracy's Birthday Quilt

Liz sewing Amy and Heidi supervising!

Marie was in charge of the ironing board!

Look almost like stained glass!



The worker bees!



Liz working hard!

Amy working on the border!

The  planning stage!

The final product!

Thanks to everyone who helped with Tracy's quilt. Liz Garfinkel spearheaded the trip to Greenbaum's in Salem to purchase the fabric! Heidi, Liz and I had fun perusing the store and picking out beautiful batiks for the Quilt. We got together with Liz, Heidi, Marie and Amy to put together the quilt.

Another Ducky Day!

Another Duck Saturday brought family and friends together for the big game against Arizona State. Since the game was so late we gave our tickets to the kids and chose to watch the game all cozy on the couch.

Nathan took his brother-in-law Karl to his first Duck extravaganza and Joel brought Kevin down for another win (Kev is our good luck charm as the Ducks always pull out a win when he's here!). And Hunter hung out with Bruce and I while my mom, Jason and Eric Dildine did their part to cheer on the Ducks. And we had fun!! Hunter and I walked Rosie, played UNO and made chocolate chip cookies. Once Darron Thomas went down in the third quarter we got so nervous we couldn't watch. Hunter and I watched Spooky Buddies while we recorded the game on the DVR. When Bruce came in and said "What a win!" we high-fived and did our Ducky Dance.

This morning the house is getting quiet as everyone is heading out. I think I'm ready for a nap but I'll miss the activity...but not for long as everyone will be back next weekend for the walk. I'm sure my mom will keep me busy in the meantime :)

Ease on Down the Road...

Chemo #4 is done and I'm officially on the downhill slide! Liz took me this morning and Heidi stopped by after work...thanks for the laughs girls! And Bruce stopped by during his lunch hour to say hi and hold my hand...I've said it before, I'm a lucky girl!

My doctor has recommended my getting tested for the BRCA gene to see if there is a direct genetic component to my cancer. This information will not only help me to make further decisions in my care but will be potentially important to my immediate and extended family. For their sakes I'm hoping it's negative.

The nurse in the picture is Joanne - she was with me all the way on my first day of chemo and has been a a tremendous comfort and really funny to boot. Love her.

Been a long day...ready to say goodnight :-)
love you all...tl

Finding Normal...

Had a wonderful time with my parents, Jason and Hunter and Nathan and Steph at the Oregon game -- despite getting a little wet in the first half we stuck it out to watch them dominate Cal.

As I prepare for my fourth treatment this Tuesday I'm struck by how routine this has become. A new normal is a pretty common way cancer patients describe their lives. But thankfully I have so many friends who have kept me in touch with my "old life." Dinner out with Heidi and Liz last week was a treat as are the many walks we take with the dogs. There are still moments when I do a double take in the mirror and am reminded that yes, this isn't a bad dream, I really do have cancer.

And as I get closer to my proposed surgery date in December I am beginning to get a bit nervous. Scars permeate my dreams these days...will I be scarred and mutilated or will I look like a stronger version of myself?

Liz is taking me to my treatment on Tuesday and I'll send an update then...in the meantime hope everyone has a fabulous week. Give someone you love a hug.

Good Wishes...

Last week my cousin Julie came to visit and brought her granddaughter Sophia. What a sweetheart! The scarf I'm wearing was a gift from an organization that gives a free scarf to women who have lost their hair due to cancer, alopecia or other causes. It's called Good Wishes and they couldn't be nicer.

Over the past couple months I've discovered a network of individuals and companies that do amazing things for people in need and they often do so under the radar, unrecognized. I guess this is my way to recognize one of them :)

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!

http://www.goodwishesscarves.org/

Feeling Good!

It's been a little over a week since my third infusion and I'm feeling really good! My appetite is better, I have more energy and I'm loving the sunshine. While I attribute some of my new found spunk to my meds and acupuncture I have to believe that the support of so many wonderful friends and the unwavering love of my family is the key. I know I'm going to get better so I don't spend time thinking about death but I do reflect on my life -- I've had great adventures, I've loved deeply and every morning I get up, kiss my husband, pet Rosie, look at pictures of our family and I am grateful for another day. How truly fortunate I am! I thank you all for keeping me afloat and giving me a reason to laugh every day :)

Three down...three to go!

Another fabulous day in the chair getting the medicine that is going to save my life. Had my sister by my side and Bruce and Liz stopped by for a visit. As much as I dislike the side effects I relish these days as they remind me how lucky I am that the treatments are so effective and offer me more than a fighting chance.
And, lucky girl that I am, Liz and Heidi were kind enough to stop by the house and take Rosie and Cas (my mom and dad's dog) for a walk with Buddy and Cara. And as you can see Heidi is quite the dog wrangler!