Sunday, October 9, 2011

Finding Normal...



Had a wonderful time with my parents, Jason and Hunter and Nathan and Steph at the Oregon game -- despite getting a little wet in the first half we stuck it out to watch them dominate Cal.

As I prepare for my fourth treatment this Tuesday I'm struck by how routine this has become. A new normal is a pretty common way cancer patients describe their lives. But thankfully I have so many friends who have kept me in touch with my "old life." Dinner out with Heidi and Liz last week was a treat as are the many walks we take with the dogs. There are still moments when I do a double take in the mirror and am reminded that yes, this isn't a bad dream, I really do have cancer.

And as I get closer to my proposed surgery date in December I am beginning to get a bit nervous. Scars permeate my dreams these days...will I be scarred and mutilated or will I look like a stronger version of myself?

Liz is taking me to my treatment on Tuesday and I'll send an update then...in the meantime hope everyone has a fabulous week. Give someone you love a hug.

2 comments:

Jaylynn said...

xoxo to you, Tracy. My scars are me, now. They frightened me when they were new but now I accept, if not love, them. And some of the people I know who did the kind of reconstruction you're having (not what I had) have scars only where they're not very visible. And even those will become yours. They'll be a reminder of your victory.

Tracy said...

That gives me hope Jaylynn! I haven't thought about my surgery until recently and it's kind of scary. I may have to print your response and keep it with me as a reminder of how strong I can be - and how victorious! Love you...t